I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
