real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize