got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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