Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
