Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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