piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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