soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
