I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
