I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
