ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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