My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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