Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
