No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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