You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
