so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
