Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
