At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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