And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
