Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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