Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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