When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize