Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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