she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
