How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
