Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
