he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
