yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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