Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
