Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Randomize
