i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he was CRYING into my vagina
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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