Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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