Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can't turn off my feet"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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