SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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