i was born a porn star she said
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
