BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
