wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize