Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
