doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
