I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
wow bdsm is so cute
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
