We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
