I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
