I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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