I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
