Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
