I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
