who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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