another moral hangover. fuck.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
