I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
