So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
