Christians are straight up FREAKS
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize