Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
