Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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