margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
