did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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