wat bout pragnant strippers??
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
