Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
