:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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