and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
