I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
