I want to make a zoo with you.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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