Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
