It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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