i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
